God is The Problem Love is the answer- Part 2

In November of 2001 a coworker had a dream about me and wanted to share it. She also said that she would like to interpret it spiritually for me...In the dream I was asking for the shoes on her feet and she said that God was telling me that I was trying to fit into shoes too small for me when He had bigger things in store for me...He also said that I was too content and complacent with where I was at in my life when He has greater things for me to do. At that time in my life I was working as a Intl. Sales agent at Delta Airlines in Atlanta, GA and I had my own place and car and I was very happy; but at that moment I felt something stir inside of me that I never felt before. My heart skipped a beat and at that moment I began to feel purpose in my life. So after work I went home and said my first prayer to God. I prayed that He would give me understanding and clarity to what it is He would have me to do for Him. I already owned a bible but I had not read it in years. The reason being I didn't believe it pertained to me and so it just was gathering dust. I opened it up and found myself in 1st Kings 3:5-9. God appeared to Solomon in a dream and asked him what did he desire. Solomon basically asked God for wisdom to deal with the people he would govern. I was intrigued by this prayer and so I incorporated his prayer into mine and asked God for the same thing. Little did I know what I was really asking for and the path I would have to take to get there. As the days passed I found myself praying more and more to God and asking him to speak directly to my heart and to teach me all the things I needed to know. I was told by a good friend to start reading the 4 gospels of Christ; and so that is where I began. I am a very outgoing person who was in the clubs alot and at this time I felt I needed to sacrifice my outgoing lifestyle and spend more time with God. I began to tell God about my first perception of who He was based on my grandfathers teaching. I wanted to know if He was really that mean. I wanted to know if I would have to change who I am in order to be who He wanted me to be. I loved who I was and so did other people. I have always been well liked by all kinds of people from different diversities and cultures. Surely that was a positive attribute that God could use. I began to ask him about the abuse I had suffered, emotional, sexual and physical. I asked God why did it have to happen to me. I found myself talking to God about any and everything. I did not get an answer right away but looking back in hindsight I did. I am going to conclude here....stay tuned and sorry for the long period in between I promise it won't happen again. I plan on posting at least once every other day. God bless and thank you for your time and patience.